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A Renewed Love for Life – My Diagnosis with MS
Anjali D. | Consultant, Marketing Operations | India
Originally Published: May 11, 2022
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Adventurer - That’s what a Myers Briggs test calls me (rightfully so).
As a 25-year-old who lived in Bangalore all along and was mostly an introvert, I decided to pursue my MBA in the United States. I jumped at any opportunity to experience new places and cultures. My exchange courses took me to Switzerland, Mexico, Ethiopia and eventually to Chicago for work post-graduation.
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I loved living as a single independent girl in a big city. In the next three years, I travelled some more (Northern lights in Alaska was my childhood dream!), met new people, tried new cuisines, turned into a fitness freak, attended music concerts...felt alive almost every day.
But, of course, in 2015 right when I was in my prime, life had other plans. I was on my routine morning run when I first felt my right foot limp which I casually ignored as temporary discomfort. I returned to India to be with family and joined Dell Technologies in 2016.
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After this “temporary discomfort” limp became more persistent and severe, many frustrating doc visits and inconclusive reports followed for more than two years. It eventually turned into a Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis.
MS is an unpredictable, chronic, often disabling disease caused by the immune system attacking myelin, a protective covering over the nerves of the Central nervous system. This disrupts communication between the brain and the body. It has no proven cure.
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| The diagnosis hit me like a ton of bricks. On the outside, anyone could tell things aren't right. I chose to bottle it up by continuing to live on like nothing happened. But I grieved from within. I felt sorry for myself, resentful, scared and angry. |
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My healing journey started when someone recommended The Secret to me. That really opened my mind to how toxic my thought patterns were. I then immersed myself in inspiration from books, podcasts, videos. I ditched social media, brought discipline in sleep, workout, meditation and journal writing. I started setting goals and a vision for myself in all areas of my life. Slowly, I saw myself open up - to new possibilities, a new personality, new experiences and a renewed love for life. |
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I love this quote and live by it: “You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt with. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding.” - Cheryl Strayed
While living through my adversity and healing through this deep and personal transformation journey, all I desired at my workplace was to feel a valued contributor in a supportive environment that respected my personal life and treated me no different from others.
Dell culture offers me a balance that not only trusts me to perform within my comfort, but also pushes me to do more. I could choose to work remote. I was not answerable about my condition to anyone and had the freedom to open up in my own time.
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I was promoted twice within a few years. I was selected for RISE - a development program for women with potential. Despite my suboptimal physical condition, I was entrusted to manage a sub-organizational event. I always felt like I belonged, was accepted, recognized, and valued. |
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As a marathon runner, watching myself lose my ability to walk little by little everyday has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life. However, I also watch myself turn bolder, stronger, and more resilient every day, with a kinder and much more optimistic heart. I have learnt to value the gift of life and stay in gratitude.
As I grow from this, I want to thank my most amazing family, friends and coworkers who remind me that I am bigger than my problems. We all are.
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